Plinius

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

PL 18/08: Hippo racing in Calgary

Filed under: smile — plinius @ 9:02 pm

IFLA will be in Quebec- and I must brush up on things Canadian.

The questions below were posted on an International Tourism Website. A funny guy answered them …

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)

A:We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A:Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A:Sure, it’s only four thousand miles, take lots of water with you.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A:So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q:Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

A:What did your last slave die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A:Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q:Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)

A:Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q:Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A:No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegans. Milk is illegal.

Q:Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A:Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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1 Comment »

  1. I have heard this stereotypes about stereotypes from Canadians.
    And it does speaks volumes about Canadian inferiority complex.
    I often did ask them if they live in an igloo and than I watch them
    defending their county with a foam around their mouth. THAT it’s trully hillariouse.
    Besides this list is a bogus anywhay. It has been already circulated with almost the same questions but used Australia and South Africa instead.
    Some questions however sounds legit.
    <>
    Obviously the person meant to “communicate”
    (By the way not everyone in the USA native english speaker)
    Would you be able to communicate in Swedish most places you go in Finland? (a country
    with two languages as well)
    Most Canadians won’t answer me that!

    Comment by Stan — Thursday, February 11, 2010 @ 3:44 pm


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